What You’ll Learn
In this article, you’ll discover:
- How to choose a surrogacy agency
- Questions every intended parent should ask
- Why trust and communication matter
- What to know about SEEDS, escrow, and legal representation
- Tips from someone who has personally built a family through surrogacy
Our Journey Started with One Big Decision
Learning how to choose a surrogacy agency is one of the biggest decisions Intended Parents will make.
When my husband and I first decided to pursue gestational surrogacy, we didn’t know exactly what to expect. Like most intended parents, we were excited, nervous, hopeful, and trying to make the best decisions we could with the information we had.
One thing I was especially grateful for was that our fertility clinic gave us recommendations for surrogacy agencies they had worked with before. Knowing those agencies already had experience working with our clinic gave us some peace of mind and made the process of choosing a surrogacy agency feel a little less overwhelming.
We ended up connecting with the owner of one of those agencies, and from our very first conversation I remember thinking, “We’re going to be okay.” She made us feel supported from the beginning, and that feeling stayed with us throughout our journey.
Not long after, we were introduced to our surrogate and her husband. I remember feeling that same sense of comfort when we met them. There was an immediate feeling of trust, and looking back now, I don’t think I realized just how important that would become.
Trust Is the Foundation of a Surrogacy Journey
Trust really is the foundation of a surrogacy journey.
It’s easy to focus on things like timelines, costs, and success rates when you’re researching a surrogacy agency, but I always encourage Intended Parents to pay attention to how people make you feel, too. The agency you’re choosing is going to walk beside you through one of the biggest moments of your life, and your surrogate is going to become an incredibly important part of your family’s story. Those relationships matter.
If you’re wondering how to choose a surrogacy agency, don’t just compare fees or ask how quickly they can match you. Ask questions about their communication style, the support they provide, their screening process, and the values they operate by. The right agency should make you feel informed, respected, and supported from your very first conversation.
Communication Matters More Than You Think
Another piece of advice that has stayed with me over the years came from our case manager before our match meeting. She told us to make sure we felt comfortable communicating with our surrogate.
At the time, it sounded simple enough, but she was absolutely right.
A surrogacy journey is full of exciting milestones, emotional moments, and sometimes unexpected bumps in the road. Being able to communicate openly with each other makes those moments so much easier to navigate. You don’t have to become best friends, but you should feel comfortable asking questions, sharing concerns, celebrating milestones, and supporting one another along the way.
Questions Every Intended Parent Should Ask
There are also a few questions I wish every Intended Parent would ask before choosing a surrogacy agency.
One is whether the agency is a member of SEEDS, the Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy. Membership means the agency has committed to following established ethical standards, and it also provides accountability through SEEDS if those standards aren’t upheld. It’s something many intended parents don’t think to ask, but I believe it’s worth knowing.
Another question is how your funds will be managed throughout the journey.
Personally, I think Intended Parents should look for agencies that work with independent third-party escrow companies instead of holding client funds themselves. Surrogacy is a significant financial investment, and knowing your funds are being managed independently can provide an extra layer of protection and transparency.
I also believe it’s important for Intended Parents to have their own independent attorney during the legal process.
The gestational agreement is one of the most important parts of the surrogacy process, and both Intended Parents and surrogates deserve legal representation that is focused solely on their own interests. Having separate attorneys helps protect everyone involved and allows each party to move forward with confidence.
Looking Back on Our Own Surrogacy Journey
Looking back on our own experience, I’m incredibly grateful for the people who helped us build our family. They made what could have been an overwhelming process feel manageable, and that experience shaped the way I eventually founded Paying It Forward Surrogacy.
Today, when I talk with Intended Parents who are just beginning to explore family building through surrogacy, I often think back to those early days. I remember how many questions we had and how much we relied on the people guiding us. That’s why I believe education, transparency, and honest communication are just as important as experience.
Finding the Right Surrogacy Agency
If there’s one thing I hope Intended Parents take away from this, it’s that choosing a surrogacy agency isn’t just about comparing programs or fees. It’s about finding people you trust, people who communicate well, and people who genuinely care about helping you grow your family.
The right team won’t make the journey stress-free, but they will make sure you never feel like you’re going through it alone. If you’re researching gestational surrogacy or looking for a surrogacy agency that values relationships, ethics, and personalized support, I hope our experience helps you feel a little more prepared for the road ahead.
How to Choose a Surrogacy Agency: A Quick Checklist
- Choose a surrogacy agency you trust.
- Ask about communication and support throughout the journey.
- Learn how your funds will be managed.
- Confirm the agency follows ethical standards, such as SEEDS membership.
- Make sure both you and the surrogate have independent legal representation.
- Look for a team that makes you feel informed, respected, and supported.
